On Thursday nights my husband works really late at his store. I usually take this time to do all the "girly" things that women need to do in order to stay looking young and vibrant. I figured if I start at 25, by the time I reach 40, I won't have much work to do. :)
So as I'm laying on the couch, with a face mask drying and cucumber peels freshly peeled off my eyes, I open up my bible to do some reading. I found a couple different passages that relate to women and marriage.
A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones. -Proverbs 12:4
He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. -Proverbs 18:22
In the same way, their wives are to be women worth of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything. -I Timothy 3:11
I have found myself on countless occasions during my prayers, thanking God for providing me with such an amazing man. My husband is one of the most hardest working men I know, tying with my dad. He provides for me in so many ways. With his endless love and support, I sometimes feel undeserving. After I separated from the Navy, my husband and I agreed that I just attend school full time and focus on my studies, leaving him to be the main provider, along with the help of my GI Bill. There are many nights he comes home sore and tired and has just enough time to eat, watch a tv show, and go to bed, just to wake up to do it all over again. My husband is my provider, my hero and my best friend.
But as a full time student, I get "stuck" with the responsibilities of playing the house wife. I have a full chore list almost daily involving dishes, laundry, cleaning, vacuuming, etc and it can get frustrating. On top of an occasional heavy homework load, I sometimes feel like I am being taken advantage of and accuse my husband of not pulling his weight around the house. He in return feels bad and will almost automatically head up stairs and finish whatever laundry is left over.
It wasn't until recently when I started reading about what the bible expected from a wife, that I realized I was being very hard on my already hard working husband. When I started to put God and my husband way above the top of the list, I started seeing them both in different and brighter lights. I try my best not to complain as much about my chore list, but I do have my occasional long days too and my husband is always sympathetic to my needs.
Although the bible has some old fashioned ways of women, I am starting to agree with the word. Wives should be submissive to their husband and in return, husbands should treat their wives with respect. -Ephesians. As a wife, I need to let my husband be the man he is meant to be. Going back to I Timothy, as a wife and a Christian, I also need to learn to NOT be a malicious talker. Easier said than done. This will become my greatest challenge as a wife- controlling my words. I feel that I am getting better the older I get and the closer I get to God. The more I lean on God, the less I tend to focus on everything else.
When it comes to love and keeping my marriage strong, it was my mom who gave me the best advice. Marriage is a covenant made in front of God and friends and family. My marriage is important to me and so is God and my husband. I know that marriages are not always easy and take work. So it's my mom's words that encourage me. Almost everyone knows the passage in 1 Corinthians, chapter 13- Love is patient, Love is kind. My mom's advice is to change the word Love to Jenny and recite the scripture that way. "Jenny is patient, Jenny is kind. Jenny does not envy, Jenny does not boast, Jenny is not proud. Jenny is not rude, not self-seeking,not easily-angered, and keeps no record of wrong doing. Jenny does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth. Jenny always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." If I can say this statement truthfully, then my marriage will always be on the right track. I found this advice to be very helpful and true. I still have some work to focus on to make this statement absolutely true, but in the meantime, I will keep putting God and my husband first, being submissive to him, while wearing a smile as I'm folding the 4th pile of laundry for the week.
hehe, I know how you feel.... now imagine trying to get everything you get done with an 8 month old who needs you to feed her several times a day, change her diaper several times a day, get her bathed and dressed, clean up all her messes, chase her around, take twice as long to run errands because everything with a baby takes twice as long lol, deal with tantrums, and try to teach them something valuable.... and that is my life as a stay at home mom :)
ReplyDeleteI agree that women are better at multi-tasking. Kevin and I could work the same hours in a day, and he wants nothing more than to sit on the couch and play video games, while I go straight to cooking dinner and doing the dishes afterwards, then watching Kiersten for the rest of the night. I dont like the word "submissive" for some reason, it sounds so old-fashioned, dont you think? But I know it's used in a biblical way.... I would agree that you have to be a partner with your spouse in your marriage. But you have to be complete individuals before you can be the best couple.
I like the advice your mom gave you, I should try repeating that phrase everytime Kevin makes me mad lol.
Yea, I agree with what you mean by submissive. It reminds me of a dog being submissive to his master. My mom and dad are really big Christians and my mom always tells me that sometimes, the wife just has to let the husband be a man. You have to voluntarily step back and let them provide. For a while while I was in the Navy, I was making more money than Adam. It didn't cause too much of a conflict, but there was still some sort of tension. He said there were days he felt "beneath" me and of course, that's not what I wanted.
ReplyDeleteI have a hard time letting Kevin be in charge sometimes, well most of the time actually.... lol! But it works for us, and he provides for us. I know when I become an officer and make more money than him though that he will be okay with it, because it's providing, doesnt matter who brings in what. It will be kinda nice though, I'll give myself a little pat on the back hehe
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