Today at church we started a new series called "David" which is based out of 1 and 2 Samuel. The beginning of 1 Samuel talks of a woman named Hannah. Hannah really wanted a child. She would pray and pray and was never given the gift of a child. Finally, after feeling hopeless and bitter, Hannah just feel and began praying to God for a child once again, but this time, changed the direction of her prayer. "In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD. And she made a vow, saying, 'O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant's misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.'" -1 Samuel 1:10-11. Her prayer had changed from a "Hannah" focused prayer, to a God focused prayer.
This leads to the question: How many of my prayers are "me" focused? In most prayers, we find ourselves asking God for help, for some sort of guidance to handle whatever situation we are in. But why are we asking him? Are we asking because it's too hard to handle? God already knows what you are going through. "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." -1 Corinthians 10:13. You have to ask yourself, "What am I doing that can advance God's kingdom?" When you pray, it's okay to ask for help, but how can God's help ultimately reflect back on him?
My pastor gave great advice when it comes to prayer and feeling bitterness towards God (for when you feel He isn't there or listening):
1.) God's power begins to works at the point of your hopelessness. -Just when you think you can't take anymore, that is when God will step in and tell you that you can. (Going back to 1 Corinthians)
2.) God will use your suffering, but don't assume you can decipher how. -In the story of Hannah, she wanted a child so much. Back then, for a woman to be barren, she was considered worthless or hopeless. When she first began praying for a son, it was for her own needs. But when her direction in her prayers changed, that was when God granted her a son and she gave birth to Samuel. Little did she know that it would be her son who would anoint David king.
3.) Just hold on. -Even if we think He isn't listening, He is. Sometimes He is just waiting for us to change the direction of our prayers. To pray more selflessly.
When I think about how I pray, I realize that I tend to pray with a "me" focus. Usually when I pray, I am mostly giving praises to God for providing me with so much, but when I do ask, I ask selfishly. I ask for things that serve no purpose for God's kingdom.
There were 2 key points to our sermon today that I really locked onto and will begin to apply to my prayers:
1.) Changing my "me" focused prayers to God focused prayers.
2.) Being emotionally real in my prayer. -Even in bitterness, Hannah still wept to the Lord. "I was pouring out my soul to the Lord." -1 Samuel 1:15.
Although I am honest with God when I pray, I also know that I don't always open my heart. I'm actually afraid of getting too emotional in my prayers. I only cry occasionally and usually when I do, I apologize to God. Can you believe that? I'm apologizing to God for being "too emotional" with him!! God ISN'T surprised. He already knew exactly what I was going to talk to him about and He CAN handle it.
I never thought that prayer would be something that takes practice, but it really is. What blows my mind is, when I pray with the kids during my ministry class, I can so easily pray with them and really reach out to God that he will show these kids the value of the lesson, but when it comes to myself, I get stuck and just ask for selfish things. I wonder why that is?
Guess it's time to do some prayer research by reading the prayers of Jesus and Paul (thanks to the advice from my pastor).
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