Having Peace

Today in my Children's Ministry class we started a new series about Peace. As I was reading over the lesson plan, I realized that it was a lesson that I needed to focus on myself. The memory verse of the month is "So let us do all we can to live in peace. And let us work hard to build each other up." -Romans 14:19. Living in peace seems so easy right? But it's not. Can you imagine actually living in peace 100% of the time with your spouse, or your kids or the noisy neighbor who just refuses to turn down the radio? So how do we do it?
In our lesson today, we focused on arguments. Sure it's okay to disagree with someone, but it's how we deal with that disagreement that matters. Proverbs 17:14 says "Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out." Basically, the best way to stop an argument, is to never start one in the first place. Sometimes, you just need to "drop it, forgive it and talk in a peace-promoting way."
This is something I know all too well. My husband and I are your normal, married couple. For the most part, we get along and have a great time with each other. But, like in all marriages, we do have our disagreements. The one thing that differs between the two of us is how we deal with these arguments. I am a loud person. I yell and stomp around. Is it childish, sure, but that's how I deal with those types of emotions. My husband on the other hand is always very quiet until finally, he just snaps. So which one of us have a better way of handling these arguments? Psychologists would tell you that I have the better way at handling it because it's good to get out your emotions and not to have them bottle up. Others will tell you that my husband's way is good because he holds it in for long periods of time. However, all that built up tension has to come out- kind of like a bullet being released from a gun. It just had too much pressure. But the truth it, we are both wrong. It's not good to yell and scream and it's not good to become a bullet. So where do we go from here?
Well, Proverbs had it right. When my husband and I have our minor arguments, usually over money, they are little cracks being formed in our marriage. Then one day, let's say for example, my hubby forgets to take out the trash and then KABOOM!!! All those little cracks finally break. How many of us have had "fights" with our spouse where we bring up things from the past just to keep it going? Bringing up stuff from the past, which at the time, didn't bother us, is a selfish game that you are only trying to win. But to have peace is to "prove that you care more about others than winning an argument."
So what should my husband and I do? Maybe speak to each other in a more calm way? Or in his case, open up ahead of time to avoid a massive blow up. God wants us to be peacemakers. If I can't even be peaceful to my hubby in an argument, then what makes me think I will be peaceful to my boss or employers in an argument? The best way to go about changing this habit is to just pray. Sometimes you gotta ask God for help. We gave the kids a prayer and I thought it was really good and one that I had to recite for myself: Dear God, help me avoid staring fights or arguments, especially about truly small or unimportant things. Help me to avoid them even with the people who really bother me."
I pray that I can overcome this and I think I will. I believe peace comes with maturity and age. I still have growing to do in my faith, in my marriage and of course, in myself. "When we have peace in a world where getting even is the standard, we let others see a glimpse of God's amazing mercy and grace through our example."